


We loved dancing in minefields

by ialwaysparkrighthere



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-03-27
Packaged: 2018-03-19 21:16:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3624537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ialwaysparkrighthere/pseuds/ialwaysparkrighthere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a few one shots, showing the inner struggles with the break up. Slightly AU. This is my first post, so constructive reviews and comments are highly appreciated. English is not my first language, so corrections are always welcomed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We loved dancing in minefields

-Sky-  
She strode through the hotel suite, her blonde hair weaving up and down with every step she took, sometimes glancing at the busy Paris streets outside the huge windows. She felt like she was running on auto pilot, picking up things and placing them back again. She did not know what to do, just kept staring in the distance, on a spot at the wall, through the windows, in the direction of the door. Everywhere except the spot where a dark haired woman sat, buried in work.

"I’m sorry but I can’t deal with this anymore. I gave you all I could, all I had, but we can’t move on. That’s it. That’s roads end. It’s the point, where everything has been said and we still don’t understand each other. You can never be replaced, but our time is running out. I searched and searched, only to find that there is no solution. I am silent and you are blind. I will miss you deeply, but believe me there is no use. I tried all I could and my energy is low, I can’t offer you any more of it. I tried all I could, but it’s beyond my power, I guess it was never enough. This is my last reserve, after that there will be nothing left for you. We are standing on different sides of the same battle, but there is no peace in sight. You know how it will turn out, with the uncountable second chances. We rotate in an endless loop, and it’s time to get off it. Believe me I searched for it, but I could not find a solution. There is no use to wring out a dry sponge, that was once filled with so much   
emotions."

She knew what she had to do and it almost made her want to throw up, but she had to, otherwise Alex would drag her down with her. She went looking for her passport.  
She has searched and searched, only to find that there is no solution.  
There is no use.  
It was inevitable.

 

-Soil-  
She was the last one to stand at the funeral, the few people attending have already left, already vanishing, leaving the tall, dark haired woman standing alone in the few light raindrops on this cloudy day. She was overwhelmed by the sudden feeling of loneliness, of being left alone, abandoned. She shoved her hands down the pockets of her coat, unsure of what to do with them. Her mother was buried, laid down in the oaken casket, that she chose so thoughtfully for her. Not only was she left alone, by her mothers unexpected passing, she was also left alone by the love of her life, when she needed her the most. She hated herself, for being so miserable.

"I’ll build up a wall and bomb all the bridges, to shut down every thought of you. Burning the pictures and censor all of our songs. Come what may, but I can’t lose control like that again. Everything moving inside will be under strict observation, suspicious thoughts erased. But I know, all it takes is a leak somewhere, a slightest hint of weakness, like a shaking whisper of her name in the middle of the night. I need cold blood, it does not feel good, to think about her. And every time my heart will call out for her and chaos starts to reign inside of me, I’ll force myself bring the resistance back down again. And every time the streets inside of me are burning, I’ll force myself to get my heart silent again, until it’s tied, broken down and locked away. Until it’s finally obedient."

She ran a shaky hand trough her wet hair and pushed her dark framed glasses up. She wiped away the tears, that she had finally allowed herself to cry. She did not need to hold up her façade any longer, because there was no one left to see that she did not have the strength to cope.  
But Alex was not alone. A lanky framed, blonde woman, was watching her from the distance.  
‘I’m here’ she whispered as the rain started to fall with large cold drops.  
‘I’m here’

-Shore-  
She has always liked beaches, not the ones occupied by crowds of people, but the remote beaches, empty due to grey weather. She could walk along and let her mind wander. 

"It’s always easy to remember, here at the sea. It feels like the water has finally rounded the shreds and they stopped cutting in your chest. And fate is standing a† the side of the road, with it’s thumbs out, but everything happens so quickly and before you realise it, you are passing your fate, because you kept staring in the rear view mirror. But it is now to late to stop, you need to get ahead."  
She let go of a breath she did not realise she was holding. She could taste the salt on her lips, could feel the wind in her blonde hair.  
How long do you have to put everything upside down, until you finally see? To finally see, that the key, you were so desperately looking for, is right in front of you, it’s been there all along. But you can’t help but walk trough the day, still blindfolded by the feelings you still won’t let yourself feel. Feelings for her. And by tomorrow this sad comedy will start all over again.   
Tonight you are willing to let yourself be weak and be captivated by the memories of her. You know it needs time and then maybe one day it will all click together and everything is there suddenly and you can see everything distinct and clear. But now is not the time. The wounds are still open, so fresh and raw and you know that you will always have her as your weak spot. 

But she knew how fate worked. It always hit her unexpected with no room or time left to prepare herself for what is coming. When she left the beach and made her way to her car, she found a familiar, dark haired, female figure leaning against her car.  
Fate certainly had it’s own ways.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I plan on posting some more one shots, depending on the resonance I'll get from you guys! :)


End file.
